Humour is the best way to get my attention. I don't care if it's dark, racist, or hurtful. As long as you make me laugh with your sense of humour, then I'll be happy to chat with all day long. Send me your funniest joke and let's jumpstart our conver...

I prefer beer over wine. Even a sophisticated-looking lady like me loves a good pint along with her fish and chips. Never could go wrong with a classic. Also, wouldn't go wrong with shagging a lady who has plenty of sexual experience.

My friends say that I look better in tight jeans because it shows my curves while strangers I've met in pubs and coffee shops told me that I should wear skirt more often. They say my legs are my real assets.

Finding ways of incorporating food into fucking occupies my mind like no other. Once the thought of covering a young gent with chocolate and having the honour of licking them clean just titillates me to another level.

People say that money can't buy happiness, but a shitload of money can get me a large pizza and a bottle of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti. If that doesn't make me happy, I don't know what will. Do you agree with me? You are free to challenge my opinion...

So what does an old lady like me have to do to get a bloke who can fuck me into oblivion? I've been alone for so long that I have already forgotten what it is like to have someone's breath against my skin.