Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

Flirting seems to be different now than it did when I was a teenager. Everything moves fast now and I would like not be left behind. To be honest, I'm not adept with how flirting works but I am good with my hands and mouth.

I want to escape the real world, and go to a different world where flirting and having sex is not seen as immoral. I'd be chuffed if a bloke can lick my arse any time or if he can drink from my strawberry creams.

While others are out partying, drinking until they can't carry the weight of their body when they try to go home, I'm either on my bed reading a special book or with a man putting his knob into my fanny.

I know this is a bit hard to believe but I am actually quite inexperienced when it comes to sex. The only man I fuck is my ex-boyfriend, so I was out of the game for a long time. I hope there is a patient man in here who can show me how to have a goo...

I have no intention of making myself known through complex or complicated things. I am the kind of woman who loves to keep things nice and simple. I do believe that there is beauty in simplicity. I hope my simple ways will not bore you out.